Posts Tagged ‘Theology’

If I were to ask you what the worst feeling in the world would be, what would you say?
You most likely answered with a horrible feeling. A negative emotion.
Negative. Bad. Horror. All of the things we seek to avoid or eradicate.
But while we are running from these worst feelings, these bad experiences, the worst things the mind can conceive, what are we REALLY doing? The mind does not have a memory for pain. You can think back on a memory and remember all sorts of details and feelings but you can never remember EXACTLY what the pain felt like. Not physically and not fully emotionally. The closest we can get is to go to a place in our mind and let something sting us into our soul remembering something bitter. The human body has a conditioned response to avoid pain.
But are we really avoiding pain or are we searching for a happier feeling? We are equating no pain with complete happiness when this is not the case. No pain = nothingness. Working out is painful but because we achieve a plateau of health,we push through the pain. Without muscles tearing, without sweating, without heavy breathing and straining we can’t achieve heights with the human body. Our body doesn’t release chemical endorphin’s. We know this about the human body. This same rule applies to the spirit. Those who seek through prayer, meditation, or inward journeys of sacrifice can attest that, in those moments, the soul has trouble breathing. Those moments our heart aches. Those heavy times are worth the plateau of a peaceful and even center. People travel the world to try to find just a glimpse of that moment. This is where the complexity comes in.
The spirit and body are tied together. You can’t get hurt physically and have your spirit ignore it for long. It affects and wounds the spirit too. You can’t get hurt emotionally on a deep level and expect it not to also affect how the body functions. It will affect its chemicals, its stress reaction, its biorhythms.  So now, lets quickly remember the first question I entered with…If I were to ask you what the WORST feeling in the world would be what would you say? Would it still be something negative? Fear. Lonliness. Heartbreak. Terror. Hatred. etc etc…
The worst feeling in the world is neutrality. It is indifference. It is the mundane. It leads to nowhere. There is no plateau of greatness but it seeps the life out of the spirit and the body. It is the easiest course to become nothing. People who hate us, use us, leave us, deceive us are giving us the traction we need to become great and strong. They gave Anne Frank the keys to what human life are about. They gave the answers to Victor Frankel. They gave the answers to victims. They gave the answers to every soul who felt the pain. The enemy is not pain. The enemy is not how hard a situation is, how impossible the situation is, how devastatingly unfair a situation is, how cruel a person is; the enemy is not the darkness. Even within the dark there are shades arguing what is good and bad, right and wrong. The enemy is the conditioning that freedom is painless. There is a wonderful quote “Pain demands to be felt”. If for one moment you quit running from pain and start reading what it has to say, if instead of closing your eyes you demand they stay open, if instead of letting your life be about money, bills, goals, society, survival and search out what life is SAYING inside the waves of pain, disappointment, hopes, dreams, discouragement, hatred, fear, anger, love, acceptance, mistakes, pursuits, champions then you will find you are no longer neutral anymore. You are no longer seeking goals that continue your own tether to this magnet of avoidance. Your goals won’t be “I will do this so I will never feel this pain and neither will anyone else”. Your goals will be “no matter where I go, I will allow myself to feel. I will not avoid. I will conquer it.”
Everything ends in life. My one fear is that I will have remained neutral mentally for too long. I won’t have touched upon what great souls touched upon and reach that spiritual plateau where I FEEL happy. Where I operate with a strength and presence of understanding. The spirit craves pain as the only way to burst free of the cocoon of neutrality. There is no way to be free of fires because true peace is being inside of the fires and not being harmed anymore ❤
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Gray

Posted: February 18, 2013 in Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

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You think you can see something good in the gray.
Yes! There it is, you say…
It is slightly dark out in nowheresville
But “I am a child of different anyway” you say…
I will keep my eyes on the light and go out and adventure
perfectly safe!
I won’t step in the dark, only the gray.
Time flies by with the wind that carried you to investigate
Sounds start to hiss and you get a little burnt
Time to step back in the light and regroup
This gray hue is suffocating the soul desiring to breath light
Yes, it is well time enough to step back in the light.
You jump to get the warmth on your skin 
But you are miles away from where you should have been.
What happened? It was just right there. I never CHOSE to go this far
I never chose to go this far from the light.
I just wanted a bit of grey
So much to learn out here they say!
Pitch black rains down upon the grey
No matter where you walk you cannot find your way
The illusion of the light that you thought you were following
Melted away into a sign that said
You are forgotten
The small flame in your heart can only stay lit for so long
Before it realizes it needs the light to go on
When you are away in the gray when you need to be rekindled
Extreme Danger of becoming the darkness yourself
There is no such thing as safe darkness
there is only light and dark
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